[grumbles vaguely again, but his eyes are shut and his brow furrowed while his breathing slows. there's something tugging at the edge of his memory, something tasting of failure and pain that he'd tried to bury. why is it digging itself up...?
[it's admittedly not as good of a kiss as before, mostly because Kaito is distracted trying to figure out what the fuck he even thinks he's doing.
he distantly remembers discussions, explanations of what he was supposed to do in clinical detail and large words that made no sense until it had filtered through his computer, and then suddenly made too much sense. being presented with subjects (victims) and being told to make them hurt. (occasionally other things, too. but pain was the easiest to monitor, they said.) being told that if he didn't succeed they'd take him away from father, or punish him, and getting more and more desperate until he caused pain in the only way he knew would work—
no, he's not thinking about that. that isn't what he's doing here, that isn't what he wants to do here. he doesn't want to hurt Noiz (that's a lie— no it's not) just... get him to feel something, and keep feeling it. that desire... that's something he's familiar with.
biting again, experimentally— not harder, but sharper, trying to imagine what that would be like if that was him. if he can just do that, maybe—]
[whatever Kaito is planning to do, Noiz just wants him to do it. the bite is maddening, a flash of that feeling he thinks is pain, gone before he can grasp it. it was even like that when his tongue was pierced...]
[starting to get a bit frustrated. this isn't working any better than the last times he'd tried this; although the kissing's nice, it's still all he can feel. there's no other connection, and worse his tongue is starting to get vaguely sore—
...his tongue is sore— despite him being the one doing all of the biting, and in the spots where he'd been biting at Noiz.
that's not entirely his frustration and impatience, is it?
holy fuck. the moment he realizes what's going on, something in the back of his head clicks into place, like a completed circuit, and he can sense/see/feel... something. something he knows on a gut level, even if he can't put words to it—
freezing up with a startled grunt, and then grabbing blindly for the first thing he can think of—the memory of nearly biting through his tongue after getting punched in exactly the wrong way during a fight, and specifically the way everything had ached and tasted like salt and metal for over a week after—and echoing it, for lack of a better word, into that sense of like-but-other that he knows is Noiz.]
[just. sputters out an unsteady, slightly manic laugh at his expression, reaching up to touch his own mouth]
God damn, that actually worked. I am officially smarter than an entire lab full of sadistic assholes because it actually occurred to me that maybe fucking functional nerves were required in order to fuck with other people's. I.
[the words are put-upon, but his tone is somewhere in between amused and fond.
kissing him, open-mouthed. the connection is almost laughably easy, now that he knows the taste of the other man; as soon as he's gotten it open again he starts feeding through sensation again, with more finesse this time. heat building to burns seems safe and gradual enough to give him time to get used to it.]
[he makes a faint, hungry sound in his throat, stroking his tongue against Kaito's fervently, as if trying to devour that sensation. it hurts, it hurts, for the first time in his life he knows what hurt means. it's as if Kaito is somehow bypassing his body entirely to feed the feeling directly to his mind, to press it in and force him to accept it.
it hurts and he wants it to stop and he wants to feel it forever.]
[rumbling and wrapping his arms around Noiz's waist to tug him into his lap, kissing him back and taking advantage of it to toy with his piercings. this's much better than the unhappy noises from earlier...
...although... what happens if he starts threading pleasure behind the pain? it's not difficult to do at all; with what Noiz is doing to him, he just has to echo his own.]
[then the quiet sounds he's making will take on a different tenor, as he pulls back the bare minimum amount necessary to breathe while still keeping his tongue in contact with Kaito's]
[fuck. okay. that was both a really good and a really bad decision. groaning unabashedly and rolling his hips, just a little, just to try to relieve the pressure against his hard-on enough that the idea of dumping his lust in with the mix stops being so tempting]
[so funny thing about doing that while you're hijacking somebody's nerves to send your pleasure directly to their brain: he can feel that. making a frantic noise and grinding his hips against Kaito's - unlike earlier, he is now definitely aroused.]
[blindly trying to get his hand down so he can touch himself, touch the both of them, but he doesn't think he's got the right angle and he can't fucking check. biting Noiz again in frustration]
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No good?
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Would biting harder work?
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...ah. that's why.
licking his lips. slowly, almost unwillingly:]
There's something else I could try.
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...They couldn't get it to work, before, so there's no point telling you unless I can.
[they'd never made him try with his mouth, though. his mouth, where the nerves actually worked, and might even work well enough to—
cutting off that train of thought by leaning back in and kissing Noiz again]
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he distantly remembers discussions, explanations of what he was supposed to do in clinical detail and large words that made no sense until it had filtered through his computer, and then suddenly made too much sense. being presented with subjects (victims) and being told to make them hurt. (occasionally other things, too. but pain was the easiest to monitor, they said.) being told that if he didn't succeed they'd take him away from father, or punish him, and getting more and more desperate until he caused pain in the only way he knew would work—
no, he's not thinking about that. that isn't what he's doing here, that isn't what he wants to do here. he doesn't want to hurt Noiz (that's a lie— no it's not) just... get him to feel something, and keep feeling it. that desire... that's something he's familiar with.
biting again, experimentally— not harder, but sharper, trying to imagine what that would be like if that was him. if he can just do that, maybe—]
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oh god this is so gratuitous YOLOOOOOOOoooo
...his tongue is sore— despite him being the one doing all of the biting, and in the spots where he'd been biting at Noiz.
that's not entirely his frustration and impatience, is it?
holy fuck. the moment he realizes what's going on, something in the back of his head clicks into place, like a completed circuit, and he can sense/see/feel... something. something he knows on a gut level, even if he can't put words to it—
freezing up with a startled grunt, and then grabbing blindly for the first thing he can think of—the memory of nearly biting through his tongue after getting punched in exactly the wrong way during a fight, and specifically the way everything had ached and tasted like salt and metal for over a week after—and echoing it, for lack of a better word, into that sense of like-but-other that he knows is Noiz.]
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he grasps it
it's - enormous, a vast feeling, too much to process, and he jerks back with a ragged gasp]
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belatedly letting him go, dropping his arm to one side]
Fuck.
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...
[his mouth opens and shuts, but no words come out]
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God damn, that actually worked. I am officially smarter than an entire lab full of sadistic assholes because it actually occurred to me that maybe fucking functional nerves were required in order to fuck with other people's. I.
[nnnope, breaking down into more laughter]
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[his voice and face are intense - but not angry.
closer to desperate.]
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Do it again.
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[the words are put-upon, but his tone is somewhere in between amused and fond.
kissing him, open-mouthed. the connection is almost laughably easy, now that he knows the taste of the other man; as soon as he's gotten it open again he starts feeding through sensation again, with more finesse this time. heat building to burns seems safe and gradual enough to give him time to get used to it.]
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it hurts and he wants it to stop and he wants to feel it forever.]
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...although... what happens if he starts threading pleasure behind the pain? it's not difficult to do at all; with what Noiz is doing to him, he just has to echo his own.]
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[blindly trying to get his hand down so he can touch himself, touch the both of them, but he doesn't think he's got the right angle and he can't fucking check. biting Noiz again in frustration]
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