shamelesshookery | (no subject)

...

Well... in any case, you're not the one who has to apologize. Not at all.

It was really... r-really good.

I...

I didn't deserve it.

[flushing slightly, embarrassed, and then looking up sharply]

Didn't— Why not?

[anxious glance over at Kaito, before self-consciously looking away]

I...

Y-you're... y-you're not... the first.

N-not even the first man... I've... I've been...

... been ch-cheap.

... I'm sorry.

[...he doesn't entirely understand. it's irritating, yet another reminder of his own inexperience and inadequecy, and the way the other is speaking about himself only makes it worse, somehow.

sitting up, slowly]

... You aren't cheap.

[curling in on himself a bit]

I-I am. Look - w-with this sort of thing, th-the pain and the s-submission - i-it's supposed to be, I'm supposed to be devoted to my Mistress, right? ... Or my M-Master.

B-but I... I just keep... k-keep giving it up so easily, M-Miku wasn't even the first girl I w-wanted to, to s-submit to, and all G-Gakupo had to do was start flirting with me and the n-next thing I knew I was calling him Master a-and it wasn't even serious, I knew it w-wasn't, so how could I justify... I...

W-what kind of sub am I, j-just doing it so easily for anyone like that? H-how can I g-give Miku the d-devotion she deserves, how can I b-be a good sub for her like this?!

[winces, another flicker of guilt crossing his face. shaking his head]

I still don't think that makes you cheap. Lonely, maybe, but...

I would be a hypocrite if I looked down on you at all for wanting to be cared for that badly.

[he just slumps, turning one end of his scarf over and over in his hands]

... I should be better than that. I-- I should be better for Miku, and-- a-and you.

Y-you both... deserve better.

...

[leaning over to gently tug it out of his grip]

Regardless of what you think we deserve, what she wants—what we want—is you.

[just... stares at Kaito, like he just said something earth-shakingly profound.

maybe he did.

and after a moment, just... tips over to press against Kaito's side, burying his face in his arm]

[dksljsldkjgsjdga hello again, blush, I was wondering where you went. it takes him a few seconds to unfreeze, but eventually he shifts his arm from underneath Kaito to wrap it gingerly around his back]

[snuggles]

[...that isn't a bad feeling. exhaling]

...Do you want it to... to be the both of us, instead of just Miku?

...

... Y... yeah.

Yeah. I'd like that.

[another pause. then:]

I've never been adept at identifying my own feelings. What I feel for you... I don't know if it's anything like what I feel for her. Even knowing that, would you still... would you still want that from me?

If... if it's something you want to give me.

I-it's probably going to be hard - I, I understand if it's not something you want to deal with... d-dominating me.

[relaxing noticeably at that, shifting so that he's leaning back against Kaito]

...I don't know that either, at this point. I barely have any idea of how to be a boyfriend, let alone a... ah...

...how to. Do anything like that...

[...he laughs, a little embarrassedly]

If it comes to that, I don't really know... how to be a good sub, either, all I know is how to lie back and beg...

M-maybe... we can figure it out together? Y-you, me, and Miku.

...Mmm.

[pressing his face into Kaito's hair. dereeeee ♥

...he's still holding onto the end of the scarf. staring at it, thinking, and then looping it around his hand a few times]

[... oh hey. that's nice ♥ happy sigh and relaxing some more]

[from the doorway]

Ehehehe... It's nice to see you two getting along.

[AJFHSKLDF WHAT--]

[oh it's just Miku]

Ah... eheh.

[starts to automatically flinch away from Kaito before catching himself. ...tightening his grip instead :|

dryly] A bit of warning would have been appreciated, Miku...

Ehhh, but then I wouldn't have gotten to see you being all lovey-dovey at Kaito!

—anyway, anyway! Move over, I want in too!

[-- aah which side does she want in on, does Kaito have to let go of my scarf :(]