KAITO: SHADOW GARBAGE AU EDITION OPEN POST

[was_no_monster]

Because sometimes you love both the split personality and inner demons tropes way too much, and there's only one way to handle it.

THE AU IS RIDICULOUS, but all you really need to know is Kaito got humanity's malice dumped into his head along with ridiculous power, and his way of coping with both that and the trauma involved was to shove it all in with everything else he represses the heck out of and then completely dissociate himself from it. End result: what he thinks of as his inner monster has completely split off into a personality of its own, following the imagery and pattern left behind by the Shadow from that one time the Vocaloid Dressing Room had a Persona event.

(Please don't judge me.)

Feel free to pick a scenario, if you can't think of one just blank tag this sucker and I'll come up with something!

Warning! There will be a decently high probability of maiming in this post! If you're not okay with that, that's cool; just let me know in a comment header or something and I will have normal Kaito intervene. (Alternately, if you want to get mauled... well. All you have to do is ask :))

Comments

[royallyfuckedup]

...You're right. I should take better care of myself. I need to live a long, long, long healthy life. I'll eat. Go study.

[was_no_monster]

[ hisses angrily and whips around to stomp off toward the library before he can disgrace himself by crying yelling more ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[A+ feelings were expressed super well and maturely and there was no spite or miscommunication at all. Good job everyone.]

[was_no_monster]

[ excuse you none of what came out of my mouth was anything but absolute 100% truth and no feelings were involved at all!!

things continue like that, with Kaito sullenly following Tristan's orders as required and otherwise steadfastly ignoring him as much as possible, for as long as possible. this time, however, what breaks that period of avoidance is not Tristan— it's Kaito.

the nonphysical chains Kaito bound them both with in a panic weren't broken when Tristan snapped the physical ones, and they've had days now to settle in and grow tighter and more secure with every accidental tug on them from either side. and with that, it's become easier and easier to do so—

especially by someone who isn't awake enough to be careful, only aware that they're flat out terrified and bound completely helpless. it's the early hours of the morning, Kaito is dreaming, and in his thrashing panic he's yanking at those chains with enough force that Tristan could probably feel his terror and despair even if he left Court entirely. ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[Half living the nightmare himself Tristan wakes in a cold sweat. But not in his room. Somewhere in the nightmare he transported himself to Kaito's side and the implications in that sink in while he calls his breathing and reaches to take Kaito's arm, try to shake him awake firmly while his own heart still races with the feeling of being trapped and helpless.]

[It's doubly unpleasant, feeling the impact of Kaito's terror and his own old reaction to fear and being bound--inconvenient arousal and the urge to submit until it stops. It makes him furious and on edge even more than just the nightmare itself, Kaito's feelings bleeding over his and scrambling his calm.]

Wake up.

[was_no_monster]

[ snapping awake under the force of the order with one last burst of confused fear and almost immediately attempting to lash out at Tristan to get away from him. recognition filters in at the last moment, though, and he jerks to a hault before the blow can land. breathing heavily ]

T. Tristan...? What are- w-why are you...?

[ don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[Fuck fuck fuck he hasn't wanted to bare his throat in years and he knows, logically, he's just getting Kaito's panic mixed up with old triggers. But knowing it doesn't neatly stop the emotions and urges from fucking with him. He feels a little sick, disgusted with himself for still being like this.]

[His voice is strained.]

You were having a nightmare. I'm not going to hurt you.

[was_no_monster]

[ the sheer intensity of that bleedover of emotions is dying down, at least, since Kaito isn't actively yanking at Tristan anymore. his distrust is still palpable, though, as is his growing desire for comfort— it's an almost physical hunger for something that will make him stop hurting ]

...aah. I told you I couldn't sleep...

[royallyfuckedup]

...

[He reaches over, slides his fingers over the back of Kaito's neck and tugs gently. It's just a hug, holding Kaito against him the way he might hold one of his siblings after a nightmare.]

[was_no_monster]

[ he shivers, almost fights, and then goes, pressing his face into Tristan's shoulders and curling his hands unsteadily into his shirt while he shudders. the stab of relief that results in is so intense it's almost painful, followed by a wash of gut-churning shame to match Tristan's. ]

[royallyfuckedup]

Shh shh, it's all right.

[His voice is gentle, hands cool as he brushes Kaito's hair back and gentle rubs his shoulders. It's exactly the kind of automatic gesture of someone used to giving this kind of comfort, without stiffness or awkward hesitation. Trying to sooth away the shame.]

[was_no_monster]

[ the shame refuses to go anywhere— intensifies, even, with how much Tristan's treatment is helping everything else. he'd missed this, he'd missed affection from this man and feeling like something worth caring for instead of just a misbehaving dog ]

It isn't.

[ his voice is quiet and raw and completely defeated ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[No..it isn't really all right. But he keeps petting and holding Kaito because at least in the dark in the middle of the night after terrifying nightmares he won't be so cruel as to leave. He doesn't, honestly, want Kaito to be miserable. But he has trapped himself with pride and mistrust as much as he's trapped this person he loves. And it's not all right at all.]

[was_no_monster]

[ eventually just shifts and curls up against him, pillowing his cheek against the wet spot on Tristan's shoulder he'd left by crying. he's not content, exactly, but the worst of what he was feeling has either worn itself mostly out or been soothed away, so he's as close to it as he can get considering the circumstances.

it would be nice to have that for as long as he can hold on to it. ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[As long as he doesn't say anything there's almost the illusion that things are okay and he's not the cause of Kaito's nightmares. So he says nothing and cards his fingers through Kaito's hair, down his back. Over and over. Silent.]

[The moment stretches, as long as it can holds like this, fragile and ephemeral, Tristan won't break it.]

[was_no_monster]

[ ...sighs, with a drowsy edge of his deep rumbling almost-purr. reluctant ]

...think I'm falling back asleep.

[royallyfuckedup]

Go to sleep.

[He leaves his hand in Kaito's hair.]

[was_no_monster]

[ well ok. if you insist.

there's a vague sense of betrayal, resentment, but it fades as he wordlessly tucks his face against Tristan's neck and immediately relaxes, passing out ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[I didn't mean sleep on me! He pets Kaito a little longer before shifting, trying to lay Kaito down and escape from under him.]

[was_no_monster]

[ you should have thought about that before giving that particular order, then 8|

between how much dead weight he is and the fact that he apparently Does Not Want To Let Go, it's a little bit of a job to get him off, but eventually he flops to the mattress ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[What a stupid handful. He looks down at Kaito sleeping, brushes fingers through his bangs.]

[was_no_monster]

[ and now he's your stupid handful.

his face completely smooths out at the touch, making him look really young— somewhere in his late teens, maybe, as opposed to the twentysomething he does when awake. ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[He looks so tiny and helpless... What is Tris supposed to do with this?]

[He tugs the covers up and tucks them around Kaito then stands abruptly. He doesn't want to be here, spying on Kaito's helplessness. He turns quickly to leave.]

[was_no_monster]

[ goodnight, Tristan '/-'

he doesn't have any more nightmares that night. ]

[royallyfuckedup]

[At least there's that. Tristan doesn't get any more sleep, himself.]