shamelesshookery | (no subject)

[what but I]

Ah, I... o-of course. W-whatever you want. Sorry...

[looks down at the recorder, and then over to the box still sitting off to the side

heaving a HUGE SIGH and putting the instrument down, reaching for the chains again]

... It's all right. I'm just... somewhat picky, I suppose...?

...Would you mind if I asked Miku to tell you a few things? I would do it myself, but... it's something difficult for me to talk about, and I'd probably end up upsetting one or the both of us. ...She knows some of it better than I do, anyway.

[leans on :( tell me you don't hate me]

...Okay. I-if there's something I need to know, then...

[sighs a little. absently reaches out to toy with the chain]

[shifts to accommodate him. letting him play with the chain a little, and then starting to wrap it around both wrists]

"Need" probably isn't quite the right word, but... you deserve an explanation for some of my behavior.

All right.

[nuzzles at]

... This is a nice chain. Is this what Miku got you?

Mmm. ...Can you shift behind me a little bit? I don't want you to get hit if I do manage to snap this.

[does so, leaning against his back]

Mmm. I didn't know you liked this kind of thing too, Kaito.

[that puts you in a good position to feel his MANY MUSCLES as he strains, using his full strength to try and pull the chain apart. after several seconds of effort he relaxes, letting it go slack again]

...hahhh. ...I don't, but it's necessary.

[ooh, that is nice. we will just be deeply appreciating that for a moment here. kyaa boyfriend so strong kyaa]

... It's that bad, huh?

[reaching around to put his hand on top of Kaito's :(]

[stilling, slowly curling that hand shut]

... I very nearly killed her once, because she had embraced me, and I became emotional enough about it to want nothing more than to hold her in return. While I've learned how not to repeat that mistake, it requires vigilance— which I cannot always maintain, and which she does not always want me to maintain.

So... yes. It is that bad.

[he's quiet, thinking - remembering a beating heavy enough to break bones, endured without complaint by his sturdy metal frame.

gently, he kisses the back of Kaito's neck]

[his shoulders sag slightly as he exhales at the touch; but the line of his spine is still stiff, and when he speaks again his voice is strained.]

...How do you enjoy this?

...

I don't know.

It's just... it feels good to me.

...

I don't understand it. I wish I could—I've been trying—but...

[cuddles :<]

I just... it makes me feel safe, somehow. It's like, if I belong to you and Miku - if you two own me, then I don't have to worry. Because I know I'll be taken care of.

[abruptly looping another section of chain around his hands and yanking at it, hard]

What would you do if we didn't?

...

Then I wouldn't let you tie me up, or hurt me.

If you were already tied up, you wouldn't have a choice in the matter.

... but isn't that what safewords are for?

[snorting a huffy, humorless sort of laugh]

Yes— but under those circumstances it's our choice whether to honor it or not. Not yours.

If you guys were the kind of people who'd ignore a safeword, we wouldn't be here like this.

[nuzzles]

I trust you.

[he jerks away and snarls, a rattling, unhappy thing, dropping the chains into his lap with a loud clatter as he brings his hands up to cover his face]

--K-Kaito?!

You know less than a quarter of all that I've done, and yet you trust me enough to put yourself in my hands.

I've known her for over a year and would do anything she asked of me— anything, it seems, but trust her enough to do the same.

...

[cuddle. you cannot escape]

It's okay if you're afraid. That's part of it too.